Big Boy Void
This is me, Ben writing for Ms. Jeanne today.
I figured since you guys were talking about boys and books and stuff I wanna say something too. Since I’M and BOY and actually I’m sorta IN a BOOK
(What? Oh Ms. Jeanne says to tell you it’s called GLOW BALL WARNING).
Now I don’t know the void thing Ms. Jeanne goes on about. I know about Avoid, which means to stay away from, so maybe this means Awe-thurs are staying away from writing boy books.
WHICH IS NOT COOL, DUDE!
Being an AWE-thur must be the spiffiest job ever! It’s so cool they even named those people something about awe. My teacher says awe means amazing. So it’s like your job is to be an amazing-thur. You get to make stuff up and tell it in stories and then it gets pub-LICIOUS. Now I’m only in firste grade, but even I know that must be nice since de-licious means yummy, so no wander Awe-thurs want to be someone who pub-licious a lot.
So what’s the big deal? Why won’t amazing-thurs, I mean Awe-thurs write cool books for amazing boys like me? That’s like something they should get a time out for!
Luckily some awe-thurs remembered to be MAN-ufic and wrote books for a one-day man (that’s us,… boys…Not little boys of 4 or big kid boys of 13… but middle age boys).
Ms. Megan McDonald is a super cool mega awe-thur. She’s like so tasty and delicious and stuff that she’s famous. First she had to practice so she wrote books about silly bossy big sisters like Judy Moody (oops…. Ms Jeanne says this is a title and must be in special writing..) JUDY MOODY. There’s a bunch of books about her; and my sister, Sarah, in 3rd grade says JUDY MOODY is wicked. But good wicked, not bad wicked.
But then when Ms. Megan got really good at being an awe-thur she started writing her coolest super amazing stupendous BOY BOOKS! And you know she knows boys ‘cause the boy is called (…What?…Oh, Ms Jeanne says I have to use bunny ear fingers when I say the name)… “STINK” and it’s all about cool boy stuff and teasing his sneaky sister, and enormous candy and he even writes his own comic and everything!
You gotta read this book. That’s why it’s in RED, for hot! Even if you are a silly goober girl – poor you. You have to go and buy it or get it at the library….
(Wait… Ms Jeanne is talking again….she talks too much….I have to say what?…oh!)
I forgot to tell you. The books are called STINK and then they have all different “…AND THE’s…” (see Ms Jeanne I used your bunny fingers all by myself) parts. Like “Stink AND THE World’s worst Super Stinky Sneakers”. Or “…AND THE Incredible Super Galactic Jawbreaker”
(What? Ugh. Ms. Jeanne says my mom says I have to stop bothering Ms. Jeanne and go and have my breakfast, before I’m late for school.)
So I won’t have time for my closing ; my teacher says you have to have a beginning and a middle and a closing.
Maybe all the cool awe-thurs will read this and give me a closing. They will explain why there are only like a few cool books for not little boys, not big kid boys, but middle boys. Then they will get all their pencils sharpened and write us stuff and everyone will be pub-licious.
Ok this is where I get to sign my name in letters that looks like spaghetti which Sarah calls cursive.
(OK OK Mom I’m COMING!! )